Self Reflections

“(1) Moreover, brethren, I do not want you to be unaware that all our fathers were under the cloud, all passed through the sea, (2) all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, (3) all ate the same spiritual food, (4) and all drank the same spiritual drink.  For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ. (5) But with most of them God was not well pleased, for their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.

(6) Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. (7) And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, ‘The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.’ (8) Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; (9) nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; (10) nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer.

(11) Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. (12) Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. (13) No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10: 1-13)

The ‘Our Daily Bread’ spoke about how it is now so common for us to see high public officials, famous people, and world leaders behave so immorally, or so horrifically.  We are no longer surprised.  Most of us just shake our heads and move on with our lives.  We all stand strong in our own convictions we would never go down those roads or do the things they have done.  Some say this out of pride, some say it out of disgust, some say it out of a higher self worth, and some say it because they are Christians.  I am guilty on more than one occasion for using each of these descriptors as my reasoning to shake my head and move on.

But God warns us—God warns me—to get away from this sort of thinking.  These people are not different from us.  They were not given some greater, more horrific temptation than we face every day that took them down these roads.  It happens one step at a time.  One of the countless tiny sins of my own that I overlook every day could begin to lead me down one of these paths.  I am not above the sins and darkness places these people find themselves in simply because I am a Christian.  In fact I am rather humbled and ashamed by this glaring truth today of my own pride.  Because I have been in those dark places.  I have freely walked down into the murky depths of others that I now shake my head at.

I was lucky.  God offered me a way out, a means of escape, through the blessings of faithful heavenly servants.  I am lucky again that God reminds me that those temptations that led me to those places back then are still real today.  They can find their way into my heart again.  I shouldn’t go shaking my head at the misfortune of these people, proud of my new found freedom in Christ.  I should weep tears of joy that I have been saved.  I should feel my heart break for them, knowing my steps once mirrored their own.  I should be taking their lives as an example from God that Satan never gives up trying.  I should praise the Lord at His continuous deliverance out of those same traps.

I know, for a fact, it only takes one misstep to fall.  I know, for a fact, it only takes one sin to open the door to the enormity of others.  I can’t let my pride blind me to those traps.  I can’t shake my head at the obvious sins of others while I casually excuse and dismiss my own smaller ones simply because they are smaller.  Those larger, obvious sins happen because of those smaller ones we let slide by.  Self reflection and humility are very hard concepts to practice daily. 

Sin is sin, whether it is great or small.  All of it is repulsive and hated in God’s eyes.  God is as heartbroken and disgusted by my foul language and little white lies, as he is against the sins of the man who murdered those people a few Saturdays ago.  My reluctance to obey God’s wants and commands of me is just as offensive to him.  All of this is blatant disobedience to God’s will.  The difference is that between that man and myself … I know better.  I know God and His will for me.  I know it.  I study it.  And I knowingly do otherwise.  I know better.  God is my Savior and I love Him, so yeah I don’t do those grand obvious sins.  But it hardly makes my smaller sins more excusable. 

Which hurts worse…when someone who doesn’t know you nor love you does something to cause you pain…or when someone who knows you and loves you does something to cause you pain?  I know Christ.  I pray to God daily, sometimes hourly.  I seek more ways for the Holy Spirit to live in my heart.  My intimacy with my Lord can only make my small betrayals more painful to Him.  Time and time again you can find in the New Testament how those who know God more will be expected of them and asked of them.  Because I see with my eyes, because I hear with my ears, and because I understand with my heart even my smaller sins are big.  I know better.

If I should be shaking my head at anyone, it should be myself.  But in all this I find refuge, and strength, and love.  Because I know God has provided me with an escape from my earthly ways.  He has given me the Good Book; He has provided me with a Comforter; and through His only begotten Son everything I have done or will do has been forgiven me.  I am not alone.  I will always have the light to get back out of the swampy steps I take.

Light to my feet

“(105) Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

(106) I have sworn and confirmed that I will keep Your righteous judgments.

(107) I am afflicted very much; revive me, O Lord, according to Your word.

(108) Accept, I pray, the freewill offerings of my mouth, oh Lord, and teach me your judgments.

(109) My life is continually in my hand, yet I do not forget Your law.

(110)The wicked have laid a snare for me, yet I have not strayed from Your precepts.

(111) Your testimonies I have taken as a heritage forever, for they are the rejoicing of my heart.

(112) I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes forever, to the very end.” (Psalm 119:105-112)

Today’s ‘Our Daily Bread’ is about the light of God’s Word shining a guiding pathway in our lives.  The author compares it to the headlights of our cars leading us down the road at night.  He says, and true enough, that it is hard to follow the headlights of God’s Word sometimes when we have absolutely no idea where they are leading us through the darkest hours of our lives.  We always want to know.  Thousands upon thousands of years later we still always want that apple of knowledge. 

These last three years of my life have blessed me with a better ability of valuing the apple less, and trusting in God more.  Fresh out of the top rated School of Massage I was diagnosed with cancer.  I couldn’t practice the trade I had spent a year learning, and spent a truck load of money on to get.  After my victory over cancer I tried to get my foot hold into the massage community.  I had my foot hold in it for about a month and a half.  In a freak accident at my second job I completely destroyed my ankle.  I have spent nearly the last two years dealing with this injury.  I have finally gotten to a place where I could get the major reconstructive surgery I needed to reattach the three ligaments that hold your ankle to your foot.  I am now looking at, hopefully, the last 6 months of recovery time.  My chances of ever returning to the world of massage are slim to none.

At first I was angry.  I had spent all this time, and a ton of money, to learn a profession I loved.  And it was taken away from me; twice.  These last three years have been very dark in that sense.  I have had no clue how I will take care of myself, or the student loans I have accrued.  I had no sense of direction on where my life was going, or what it would look like if I ever got to the end of this tunnel.  It should have been terrifying for me.  It should have been one of the scarier spans of time in my life.

It wasn’t.

You see I was coming to Christ right as all of this was happening.  I became a saved soul in the midst of having cancer.  So when my ankle was destroyed in that accident while I was angry at the situation I never found myself wandering close to despair or depression.  I was surprisingly at peace.  It has been a peace I could not have gotten on my own, nor maintained on any sort of level by myself.  My Lord and Savior gave me this huge, ginormous gift in this very dark time in my life.  I learned to trust God.  I didn’t look out into the darkness around me; at least never for long.  My eyes were kept on God’s headlights before me.

And it never really, fully hit me until I read this daily devotional how blessed God has made me.  I could be in such a worse place right now.  I don’t want to imagine where my heart, mind, or emotional state would be if I didn’t have the Word of God.  My Lord and Savior has taken the time to teach me how to trust Him; which is one of the best gifts I could be given. 

I no longer have to worry.  I no longer have to fret.  I can say everything will be alright and feel the honest truth of that deep in my bones.  I have peace.  Soul deep peace that allows me to sleep at night, that keeps anxiety away.  In learning to trust God I no longer have to attempt to put my trust in manmade situations or fixes.  He has guided my path this far without me knowing where I am going; and I know He will continue to take me in the direction He wants me to go.

It sounds strange to me because I was the sort of person that always had to have a plan, to know where I was going, and to know what I was doing.  But in trusting God I have this freedom to enjoy the journey.  It doesn’t matter where I end up because I will end up where I am supposed to be.  I can focus instead on the people taking this journey with me.  I can savor the child-like, giddy excitement of knowing I am going somewhere good.  It is like my own life story of Christmas morning.  God is leading me to a land of blessings and gifts and wonder.  I can’t wait to get there.  And I can’t even fully grasp the gift of not having to try to find it myself.

God is good.  God does love me.  Jesus gave His life for me so I could walk this path without fear.  And the beauty of God’s Word brightens my world around me every day.  His light is true and sure; and I never have to worry about something running out in front of me for me to hit or have an accident over.  As long as His light is my focus, nothing can jump out at me to surprise me and cause me to stumble.  And for all these things I am grateful.  I am thankful.  And I am in love with Him even more today than I was yesterday.

Routines

(1)”It pleased Darius to set over the kingdom one hundredand twenty satraps, to be over the whole kingdom; (2) and over these, three governors, of whom Daniel was one, that the satraps might give account to them, so that the king would suffer no loss. (3) Then this Daniel distinguished himself above the governors and satraps, because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king gave thought to setting him over the whole realm.

(4)So the governors and the satraps sought to find some charge against Daniel concerning the kingdom; but they could find no charge or fault, because he was faithful; nor was there any error or fault found in him.(5) Then these men said, ‘We shall not find any charge against this Daniel unless we find it against him concerning the law of his God.’

(6) So these governors and satraps thronged before the king,and said thus to him: ‘King Darius, live forever! (7) All the governors of the kingdom, the administrators and satraps, the counselors and advisors, have consulted together to establish a royal statute and to make a firm decree, that whoever petitions any god or man for thirty days, except you, O king, shall be cast into the den of lions. (8) Now, O king, establish the decree and sign the writing, so that it cannot be changed, according to the law of the Medes and Persians, which does not alter.’

(9) Therefore the King Darius signed the written decree.

(10) Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went home. And in his upper room, with his windows open toward Jerusalem, he knelt down on his knees three times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom since early days.” (Daniel 6:1-10)

 

Today’s “Our Daily Bread” highlighted this passage in the Bible.  It then went on to talk about our routines and the ruts we get into. Daniel had the routine of kneeling down three times a day to pray to the Lord.  And when he heard the decree that death would surely be delivered to anyone who prayed to anything or anyone beyond the King, what did he do?  He knelt before God, as he always did, and prayed. To Daniel the worship and praise and devotional time with our Lord was more important than this life.  Between getting eaten by a lion, or spending intimate moments with our Lord, his choice was simple.  He didn’t hide his choice either.  He didn’t change anything about his daily devotional to God.

And I sit here and think, WOW.  People these days have routines like having two cups of coffee in the morning.  Or jogging a mile before work.  Or wearing the same underwear on game days for luck. What sort of lasting value do these routines have?  And don’t worry, I’m not knocking these routines, I’m just sitting here in shock of myself.  I don’t even have those routines.  Well I think I can take that back.  I don’t have any good routines.  I wake up in the morning, do some exercise, and play a game or watch a show.  Sure I can give myself the excuses that I have this ankle injury that keeps me from walking like a normal human being; and then before that I had the pleasure of dealing with cancer.

But honestly they aren’t good excuses.  I used to be so driven when I was younger.  In ninth grade I lost all of my friends because I refused to get high or drunk. I had such a strong will back then. I had this drive to be something and do something.  I lost that between high school and now.  I know how and why I lost it.  I guess what shocks me is that I didn’t know I had really lost that part of me until now. I have been foolishly convincing myself that it is still there … when I have no proof, no routine, no real strong willed decision … to back up this claim.

And I want a routine. The parts inside of me that are stamped with the Lord’s name hunger and ache and push me to get a routine.  A good, solid, holy routine that stands out in my life.  A good, godly routine that defines my life.  I yearn for that, but I am struggling with putting the pieces of my will back together to get it.

I know I am a very broken person.  Pieces of me have been shredded and scattered to the winds and I never noticed.  Not until now.  Now with Christ in my life, and with the help of my Raggedy Andy, I am starting to heal in depths I haven’t gone to in a long time.  And it’s hard to come up empty handed, or with shattered pieces of something that was once so strong.  I want to be angry and hurt at the same time.

This passage really strikes me.  It burns me with shame, with hope, with love, and with great sadness.  I don’t know if the burn is painful, or just cauterizing a wound.  I know it is a part of healing, admitting there is a problem.  But I have hope.  I have a strong place that created this world in seven days.  Jesus has been carrying me for so long sometimes I really don’t know how to use my feet anymore.  But I want to walk in His light.  I want to have the strength of will to kneel three times a day and devote time to my Savior no matter what is going on around me.

It’s just turning that want into a will.  It is so easy for me to make up every excuse I can to get out of it.  To put something else first.  And really what good do all those excuses do me?  How do those reasons help me to heal?  How can any of it truly be more important than falling on my face at the feet of our Lord?

Thank you Jesus. Thank you for carrying me.  Thank you for excusing my own laziness.  I don’t want to be distracted from You.  I am a broken soul, and I know I need Your help to fix all the frayed pieces of my will.  I know that through You I will have the strength to build good routines not only for You, but through the rest of my life.  But I need Your help, we all do.  I need Your blessings and Your grace.  Your love and Your strength.  I will stumble, but I will devote my life to be a better servant to You.  For Your glory.

Feasts

I wanted to say, first, sorry I have been so quiet on here the last week. I have been sick, but I am finally starting to feel better. So yay!!! On to the good stuffs.

I saw something today that really bothered me. The entire time I was watching “The Jesus Guy” movie I was uncomfortable. It was a show about this man who has made a name for himself as ‘the Jesus guy’. I guess he has been on the news sometimes, and papers have written up articles about him. I had never heard of him before this moment. When I saw the title of the movie, and heard the first few comments I became excited. I thought …how wonderful! A man devoted to the Gospel and to living a life like our Lord and Savior. Then I watched the rest of it.

A lot of things concerned me, but I will stick to the three most profound things. “The Jesus Guy” was supposed to be about this man’s ministry according to the Gospel of God. What bothered me is that I never once saw this man open the Bible he carried around with him. He never opened it to preach from it. He never opened the Bible to speak about a passage or to show someone a passage. The Bible seemed like nothing more than a prop.

This bothers me because this world is starving for God. This world needs Christ’s words, and the only way …the ONLY way…to give the world the Word of God is to be IN the Word of God. The only way to share Christ is to open His book and read His words. To quote His teachings rather than what people today think and say about religion. I can’t live a Godly life unless I am in the Bible every day. I can’t commune with my Savior unless I spend time in His words spoken by His tongue. The Bible isn’t something you simply hold on to; it is something you always have opened. We are supposed to cling to the words written on those pages, we aren’t supposed to cling to the binding of those pages. It is the Word of God written in those pages that is important. Those words are the words that matter.

Which brings me to the second point of “The Jesus Guy” that didn’t sit right. This man asked the question “What is the most important food?” several times.

 

“Jesus answered, ‘It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’’” Matthew 4:4

“As for the person who hears My words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it. There is a judge for the one who rejects Me and does not accept My words; that very word which I spoke will condemn him at the last day. For I did not speak of My own accord, but the Father who sent Me commanded Me what to say and how to say it. I know that His command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told Me to say.” John 12:47-50

“He replied, ‘Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it.’” Luke 11:28

Just to give a few examples of how to answer that question. If you spend time in God’s words and read the Bible the answer to the question is clear. The most important food is the Word of God. Christ lived off the Word of God for 40 days and nights in the desert. Perhaps if this man opened the Bible he carried around in his hand he would know this answer. If he would just open up that book and feast on the Heavenly Father’s guidance he might actually get and understand what it is he is attempting to talk about.

We need the Word of God to live better lives. We need the Word of God to understand our salvation. We need the Word of God to live a close and personal relationship with Christ Jesus. We need the Word of God to be our daily bread and our everlasting water. Everything else, everything less, is just physical. Only Christ and His word are beyond the reach of this world. The Bible, God’s words and Christ’s teachings, are the most important food to every last soul on this planet. Saved or not saved. Believer or unbeliever. Our denial, acceptance, ignorance, and every other excuse we can come up with doesn’t change that fact. And this is a fact this man doesn’t even know, much less understand.

The last thing that bothered me was the secrecy. Jesus didn’t walk about hiding who He was. Jesus never told anyone He couldn’t tell them His name. Jesus never told His Apostles to keep their identity quiet. He didn’t care about their past, that made them a better Witness. He didn’t tell Paul…don’t tell anyone who you were or where you come from…keep it a secret. Loving Christ shouldn’t be a secret. When you serve Christ there is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing to hide.

If you are honestly trying to walk in the steps of the Apostles then embrace it. Christ loves every last one of us despite our pasts. He loves every last one of us despite our futures. He loves us in our most despicable of states. He loves us in our most loathsome moments. To hide that, to hide our past, our failures, our mistakes, and our screw-up’s…is to put more emphasis on our shame than on the very JUBILANT fact that Christ loves us anyway. My sins, shortcomings, deplorable moments are forgiven. I will not let them control me because Christ has set me free.

Following the word of God is about freedom. And the Truth will set you free. The love of Christ doesn’t chain you down with shame. It doesn’t lock you in mystery. The love of Christ makes you shine; even in your darkest places you are meant to shine. His light should never be placed in a valley or behind shuttered windows. Christ’s light is about second chances…and about witnessing to others the changes you have gone through because of His love.

I could go on and on. These are very key elements to Christian Faith. And as I said this world is starved for our Savior. It breaks my heart to see it feasting on straw…refuse…and convincing itself it is a feast for kings. The real feast is in your book store, on a forgotten shelf in your home, or in a drawer in most hotels. It is the Bible. Open the book up. Find out for yourself. Feast on God, and His word. It is the only way to have something more than what this world has to offer.

If you want to watch the video for yourself, here is the link. The Jesus Guy

Thirsting

Psalm 42
Yearning for God in the Midst of Distresses
(1)”As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
(2) My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
(3) My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
‘Where is your God?’
(4) When I remember these things
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.
(5) Why are you cast down, O my Soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.
(6) O my God, my soul is cast down within me,
Therefore I will remember You from the land of Jordan,
And from the heights of Hermon
From the Hill Mizar.
(7) Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
(8) The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life.
(9) I will say to God my Rock,
‘Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?’
(10) As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
‘Where is your God?’
(11) Why are you cast down, O my Soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.

Today’s mediation from Our Daily Bread is about this Psalm. Which is an amazing piece of work if you look and take it deep inside you. It is, obviously, a psalm of thirsting for the Lord; of thirsting for something beyond what this world can physically offer us.

The first line in this psalm struck me with surprise. No one talks like that any more. I have noted a downward trend on the level of passion in this culture. When was the last time you spoke to the people in your church about hungering for God on this level and at this depth? I will admit that even though I feel this sort of hunger I am embarrassed about always expressing it. There are times in church when I want to stand up and shout, to praise Christ Jesus for something my Pastor or my Sunday School Teacher just told me, taught me, or shared with me.

MY SOUL THIRSTS FOR GOD, FOR THE LIVING GOD!! WHEN SHALL I COME AND APPEAR BEFORE GOD?!?! Drink those words in. Think about them. They are true inside me. I do thirst for God. I do desire Him and His grace. I yearn for His love and counsel. I want so desperately to be like Jesus, to love as He loved, and to be the sort of person someone says ……HOLY COW! Now THAT is a Godly woman! But what is keeping me back? Is God hiding from me? Is Jesus playing a really serious game of Hide and Seek with me? No. He isn’t hiding from me. He isn’t eluding me. I just don’t always act on my needs. I can’t rightly explain why I don’t. I somehow always manage to convince myself that something is more important in my life. Something takes priority. When will I finally get over myself and come and appear before the very living God I so need and desire?

While I hunger and thirst for God I feast on my tears. I feed on the fears and doubts unbelievers, and sometimes believers, thrust on me. I have been kicked and beaten many times by others, and by myself, when I am in a dark place …my mind filled with the mocking words…Where is your God now?! Where was your God when you got cancer?! Where was your God when you were raped?! God is the one who broke your ankle! …..Each of these things has been thrown in my face like some all powerful weapon. As if these statements hold any meaning or weight behind the blows they swing at my heart and my head.

So what did I do? Where did I go? Did I give up? Did I turn my heart into a hardened heart? No. I did the exact thing this Psalm tells me to do. What was true thousands of years ago is still true in the believers heart today! When the sinful come and knock at my door….I go to God’s house to rest. When unbelievers scream at me I put on the headsets of the Lord and sing His praises. I go to Church every Sunday because yes it is commanded of me…but also to feed on the Lord with others who share my hunger. When I can’t go to Church I think about my Church. I think about the people in my Church. I think about those who are saved with me. I open my Bible and I scream back……MY GOD IS HERE!! HE IS IN MY HANDS. HE IS IN MY HEART! HE IS ALL AROUND US!! HE IS EVEN IN YOU!

Even though I know that I can come back to verse 5. Why do I allow myself to feel such pain, such worry, such doubt? Even though I can scream those words at the top of my lungs; even though I can dance them in my heart and before anyone who can watch through the laughter at my dancing skills…..i can still find myself coming back to verse 5 at times. So I ask myself……soul, heart, why are you suffering? Why are you so sad? Don’t give up. Don’t be disheartened for I shall praise Him in this storm. I shall worship Him. I will seek His help to get us out of this mess. And I will seek out my peace in the shelter of Christ’s arms.

I will seek Christ out and I will remember all He has done for me. I will remember that I lived through my rape and found myself stronger and blessed in ways I could never imagine because of it. I can help other women who have been abused. I will remember that my cancer brought me into new lives that helped lead me to my salvation, and I survived a nasty disease with nothing to show for it but a scar and a lifetime of tiny purple pills. I will remember that through the pain of this nerve condition I am still walking today. God has given me a great new direction with my life if I but submit to His will! I will remember He NEVER gave up on me in the darkest hours of my life. He loved me then, even when I scorned and mocked Him and His children. He loves me now.

And He will cover me, thrum through me, and inculcate my very being with His love, wisdom, strength, and protection. Again I am in awe of the passion in verse 7. The call Christ has over my soul is deep. His love and mercy covers me from head to toe. No part of me is left expose to this world and the evil that lives within it. There is nothing in this world that can hurt me, not really. Any pain I feel in this life is fleeting, it will end when my life ends. But when my life ends I will begin a new life for the rest of existence with God. In the end I am going to heaven. God has marked me as His. He has protected me and kept me for His own. No amount of mockery, pain, or persecution can change that. It is done. I was done when Christ died for my sins.

And I will remember that. You should remember that. No matter what dark place you are in, remember that. God has already won. I am already saved. My ticket is bought and paid for. And whether the laughter comes from the unbeliever or the believer…there is no reason for me to keep the thirst for my Savior in a toned down version. There is no reason for me to keep it a secret.

I am thirsty for the love of Christ and the mercy of God. Like one who wanders in a forgotten desert. And I am not ashamed. For my Living God is mighty. His Kung Fu is STRONG!

Forgetfulness

(16)”Then I said: ‘Wisdom is better than strength. Nevertheless the poor man’s wisdom is despised, and his words are not heard. (17)Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools. (18) Wisdom is better than weapons of war; but one sinner destroys much good.’” (Ecclesiastes 9:16-18)

Today’s Our Daily Bread concerned the book of Ecclesiastes 9:13-18. As shown above it is about how we all too soon forget the wisdom of the people who help us. We forget too quickly the good in people. I, myself, am guilty of overlooking all the good in someone so I may focus on the bad. It is usually the bad that people remember. It is the wrong in people, the wrong in how people treat us that sticks with us during the day rather than the people who made us laugh or smile.

Some people think this is because the bad is stronger. I disagree. We are the ones who give the bad, the wrong, and the evil the strength. We are the ones who take the power and strength away from the good. The power of the foolish is only as strong and influential in your life as you make it to be. And the hard truth is you can only affect the strength of wrong and evil in your own life. You can’t control how powerful the people around you make it to be. But I’m not telling you to give up. The power you, me, or the people around you, give to the bad and evil in this world…the foolish…isn’t beyond your reach. It isn’t beyond my reach. It is before me, behind me, beside me, and within me.

God, in His infinite wisdom, gave me every tool I need to remind people. Christ blessed me with the Holy Spirit so that I may shine His light on the forgotten, ridiculed, and cursed. And this is the blessing in God’s wisdom; I don’t fight for the forgotten, the bad, and the evil, all on my own. I have the strength, grace, forgiveness, and wisdom of the Creator of heaven and earth on my side. When I come face to face with the foolish I am not overwhelmed by their personal strength in the darkness. It is up to me, it is my DUTY as a Christian, it is my VOW as a servant of Christ Jesus, to shine His light so bright that the darkness creeps back into the shadows. It is my place to bring a smile, or a laugh, or a tear stained hug to the people who are inching along, bound in the chains of the foolish. I will not forget them or the moments when they gave me wisdom.

They are not alone when they are forgotten. You are not alone when you are forgotten. I am not alone when I am forgotten. We are forgotten because He is forgotten. Our good deeds are looked over because His good deeds were ignored. Jesus was forgotten by His people. For a moment in time Jesus was also forgotten by his disciples. Christ forgave them for that moment. He forgave you for your moments before you even had them. Our Lord and Savior KNEW He would be forgotten by so many and He died for them, for you, and for me anyway.

Why? Because He loves us. Because we are that important to Him. Because we matter. Because He wants us. His love is that strong. His love is that intense. He didn’t die on the cross for recognition. He didn’t die on the cross for money. He didn’t endure torture to gain popularity. He did it out of love. He did it to save your soul and mine. Love, His love for us, was enough. Why can’t love be enough for us then?

I can’t count the number of times I did something nice not only because it was nice; but because I wanted recognition for it. I wanted something out of it. I am shamefully guilty of keeping a score card when it comes to wisdom, grace, and love. I have bitten my tongue in sharing Christ’s wisdom and love out of fear, and because others have wronged me. I have kept my peace concerning the wisdom of God’s word because I knew I would get nothing out of it except ridicule, spite, and cruelty. I have kept myself in the shadows before because I knew I wouldn’t be remembered in a day or maybe even in an hour. And in all these cases it was about me. It was about how I felt, how I thought, and about my own forgottenness. It wasn’t about His love. It wasn’t about you, or how I could help you. It was about what I would get in return.

Life, love, mercy, grace, and wisdom shouldn’t come with our own personal price tags. God, in his mindboggling mercy, has given this to us for free. What right do I have to charge someone else for it? Who am I to make someone else pay for what my Savior has given me for free? I can’t care about whether my wisdom will be noticed or praised or recognized. All I should care about is that maybe someone will smile rather than frown. Maybe I will wipe a tear away rather than watching them flow. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll have been blessed with a moment to plant the seed of Truth and Love in the heart of someone who desperately needs it.

The Good Story

Today I am going to try to start forming a new habit. I read a small booklet thingy called “Our Daily Bread”. It gives you a small section of the Bible to read, and then gives you a small snippet of thought on that section. I have read books of daily devotionals before, but I never held on to the habit of reading them every day. I want to change that. I think I need to change this. So to help me not only read the daily devotional, but to help me really hold on to what I just read, I will be writing these. Just my two cents worth of thought about what I read.

Today the devotional was about “The Good Story”. We love telling the bad stories, the embarrassing stories, the gruesome stories, and the scary stories. And with the way movies these days are going, and with the poor state of our media, I think the importance of a good story is becoming as forgotten as God Himself. And the story God tells us in the Bible is the best story there is. It is a true story. A story that can save your soul for eternity. A story that can change your whole outlook on life. A story that can feed you in so many ways that you will finally feel full and complete. God created, designed, employed, and then gave all of mankind the best story on Earth: the story of Christ Jesus.

Christ’s story is also probably one of the more difficult stories to tell. The reason for this is obvious. It is a story concerning how people act, behave, live, and view their lives. It is a highly personal story that deals with such powerful themes as where we come from, where we are going, and why we are here. It is a story of life lessons and rules. It is a story that guides our outlook on life, our mental attitudes, and our emotional states. Christ’s story is one that will start a fight quicker than any other story. It is personal. Even to people who don’t believe in God, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Spirit find themselves affected in some way by this story. It riles some and soothes others. The story of Jesus is the most powerful story.

So why don’t I tell it more? Sometimes it is fear. I have already lost a number of people in my life by becoming a saved Christian. Some of it is confidence. Who am I to preach to others when I have been saved less than two years? Some of it has to do with my submissive and passive nature. I don’t want to start a fight. I don’t want to start a confrontation. Then there is awkwardness in me on how to do it. I don’t want to be a person who shoves Christ down someone’s throat. And I know many people will take it that way, no matter how delicately I broach the subject. And I really, REALLY don’t want to give Christ, and Christians, any more of a bad reputation.

I sit here and I look at all those reasons and I realize they are nothing more than excuses. Excuses I give myself to keep this Great, Perfect Story all to myself. Is not any one of those excuses worth the risk if it means that I might plant a seed in your soul that saves you? Is you spending an eternity in Heaven rather than an eternity in hell not worth that risk? I mean seriously. If I don’t tell you the Good, Great, Perfect story who will? Every person reading this is worth it to me. I want you all in heaven with me, playing Clue with Christ.

So with all that said, what is this story? I will go through the Gospels with you to give you the details over these next few months. But an overview is that the One True God. The God who created the world in six days. He loved us sinners so much He gave us His One and Only Son. Jesus was the first born son of the Virgin Mary. Jesus lived a sinless life. Satan tempted Him in ways you and I will never understand. Jesus was tempted with greed, lust, gluttony, and all the horrific sins the Roman and Greek culture could think of. Christ Jesus never gave in to any of them. He performed miracle after miracle. He healed the sick. He made deaf men hear. He gave sight to the blind. He cast out every horrific demon. He brought Lazarus back from the dead. He preached and taught from the Old Testament. He calmed a storm with His hand. He befriended, loved, taught, protected, and served a man who would betray Him to the death.

Jesus is the Son of God. He held all the power in the world. He didn’t lash out at the guards when they beat Him. Jesus didn’t curse and scorn the men when they flogged Him. He quietly endured it all. He carried the cross on his flayed back. Even after they hammered huge nails through His hands and feet, and hung Him on a cross …He didn’t look on them with disgust or with malice. Christ asked His Father to forgive them. Even after He was betrayed, beaten, tortured, and crucified …He had compassion and love for us, and for the ones who did it to Him. He forgave them. And Christ Jesus died on that cross.

Christ’s body was taken down off the cross. He was wrapped in linen and carried to a tomb. Jesus was dead for three days. For three days He was locked in a tomb in the middle of a desert. The rock was rolled in front of the tomb to keep predators out, and to keep the smell in. There is no doubt He was dead. But on that third day when the women came to wash His body with oils they found this huge, massive rock rolled away from the opening. The linens were not strewn about, torn, nor displayed any signs of a struggle. They were simply empty.

Jesus did appear to the women. He was alive. He still had the wounds in His hands, on His feet, and in His side. He defeated death. Christ is our living God. He has no grave because He is not dead. He does not answer to death or to Hades. They answer to Him. Christ did die for our sins. He died for my sins. He died for your sins. His blood has washed every last one of us—past, present, and future—completely clean. Jesus has already defeated Lucifer. Jesus has already won. Jesus will come again, end it all, and then reign forever with those who believe in a new heaven and a new earth.

And that is a good story. It is a great story. It is actually the best story because it means we have nothing to fear. If you believe. If you believe in who Jesus is you will spend the rest of eternity with our Savior. But you have to believe. Christ repeatedly says that the only way to the Father, to God our Creator, is through Jesus Christ. No amount of good deeds, no amount of happy thoughts, and no amount of good living can buy your way into heaven. Only the blood of Christ can pay for your ticket. Nothing else. Nothing more. It is that hard and yet that completely simple. Christ has paid for a ticket for every last person ever to exist. Most of those tickets won’t be cashed. I hope yours will. I hope you stand with me, in a new and perfect body, to spend the rest of existence with the Holy Trinity.

I will do more to spread this Good Story around. This is Great News. And I would rather have people upset with me, angry at me, or abandon me now if it means I have given you a chance to stand with me in heaven…rather than suffer alone in hell. You are worth it to me. Every last one of you. Because I love you all.

Truth

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6)

I have this quote beneath my profile picture on Facebook. I have put it there in the hopes that when people read it, it might plant a seed somewhere in their hearts and souls. This quotes points out a very harsh truth. It is a truth I have tried to bend, twist, break, and downright ignore at different points in my life. And just so you will stop guessing, the bitter truth this quote points out is that there is Truth. There is Truth in this world; a divine Truth that Jesus spent his life teaching, and a truth that Jesus was tortured to give to us. And I am completely, shamefully, humbled by how often I pass by the magnitude of this one simple fact that we all strive so hard to complicate. There is Truth. Jesus is that truth. Our Christ is the way, the Truth, and the life.

This world is literally hell bent on trying to convince us, and itself, that there is no such thing as truth. I once bought into that; I had a ticket on that train and enjoyed all the wines it provided in first class. I have told people that truth is completely subjective. That my truth is not the same truth as anyone else’s because it is my own. I had convinced myself, and therefore tried to convince others that truth is based on your own perception and life experiences. I cringe at how deeply I bought into that lie. I shudder to think of the hearts and souls I might have convinced of my own bull pucky.

I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. I don’t care what the world says. I don’t care what I used to say. I am coming to a point in my life where I can no longer excuse the lies and hope for the best. And I am ready to stand with my Lord and Savior. I am finally comfortable with the way people rail at me. I no longer feel the urge to rail back. I am ready, and willing, to stand with only the most powerful written words in all of history – The Holy Bible – at my back. I don’t need this worlds sciences and man’s discoveries to tell me that what is written in the Bible is True. Jesus told me that. Jesus told me He is the truth.

There is only one True God and He is the Great I Am. He is the God of Abraham and Isaac. He created the world in seven days. God did not create the world millions and billions of years ago. God created man first, in His image. Woman was created to be man’s companion. We are all decedents of Adam and Eve. The Almighty wiped out all the world, save for Noah’s family, in a flood that covered the entire planet. Our God produced the plagues of Egypt. My God parted the Red Sea and gave manna from the heavens. I do believe Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to my Savior. I do believe Jesus is the Son of God. I do believe in every miracle Jesus performed. And I know, without a doubt, that I was in Christ’s heart when He was up there on that cross. He died for my sins. He allowed himself to be tortured, beaten, and crucified for me. And for you. He knew we would be alive one day and He did this for us. For all of us. For me. And I believe the only way, the only way, to get into Heaven to be with God for all eternity is through Jesus Christ.

I believe these things because Jesus is the Truth. I do not believe Jesus lies. He taught the multitudes the Old Testament. If Jesus is the Truth I do not believe He would teach out of a book that was false. Christ Jesus is the Son of God and God does not make mistakes. I know this. In my heart and soul I know this is Truth. I know Jesus is Truth.

The knowing is a struggle at times, but the consequences for me are much harder. In knowing that my Lord and Savior is Truth; and that all He says is true, terrifies me. I know too many people who think their good works will earn them God’s favor. I know too many people who say, “I’m a good person. If there is a heaven God will let me in because I’ve lived a good life.” I was once one of those people. I was once convinced that as long as a person lived a good life, did good things, and was generally a good person that they would find their way into heaven. I want to believe that so I will see them in heaven.

The Truth is you have to have a ‘ticket’ to get into Heaven. To be with the Father. And we can’t buy those tickets. No amount of money, no amount of good works, no amount of shallow obedience and false worship will buy you that ticket. The Truth is Christ’s blood bought those tickets. You can only get a ticket into Heaven through the blood of Christ. Jesus repeatedly tells us this. He says it plainly in the quote above. No one goes to the Father unless they know Christ. And you can’t know Christ if you haven’t accepted the Truth of who He is. And that terrifies me.

It terrifies me because if you do not spend eternity in Heaven that leaves only one other place. Hell. If you are not with God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Ghost you are really only with one other person. And that is the Truth. Jesus came down to this world to spread the Truth to save us for the next life, not this earthly life. He came to give us the Truth of eternity, to save us from ourselves so when everything comes to an end we will have a home in Heaven.

And that is the Truth because that is what Jesus has taught us. Anyone and everyone can argue, rail, and curse at the Truth all the want. It doesn’t change the fact it is Truth. Nothing I can do or say changes the Truth. Nothing anyone can do or say can change the Truth. And if for your multitude of reasons you turn your back on the Truth, choose not to believe the Truth; that doesn’t make the Truth any less real nor does it excuse you from being held accountable for the Truth. It is True whether or not you believe it.

Christ did not come to this world to allow for variations or perceptions. He did not come down and suffer all that He suffered to have a wishy washy line of what is needed to spend all eternity with Him. Christ came to this world, and suffered all the stench of sinful humanity to save us from ourselves. He said it multiple times. He has stated it clearly in so many places in the Gospel. But none more simply and succinctly than in that quote above. If you believe in Christ, and know Jesus is not a liar. We therefore have to accept His truth. No one gets into Heaven unless they pass through the blood Christ Jesus spilled for us.

We can’t make up excuses to bend that truth. I can’t make up perceptions and alternatives for what my Savior has told me is true. It shatters my heart to know I will not see many of the people I know in Heaven with me. Unless I do something about it. Unless I stop making excuses to make the Will of my Savior ‘nicer’ or ‘prettier’ or more ‘pc’. Jesus did not come down to indulge our selfish ways. He came down to show us a better way. A way that will lead to everlasting life in Heaven.

So if I just sit here, sheltered in the blood of Christ, mourning the loss of those I love …do I really hold the Truth of Christ in my heart? Will I be able to stand before God and say I did my best? If I met my Holy Father today could I honestly do anything than fall on my face in shame?

I want you to know the Truth of Christ. I want you to know I am a horrific sinner just like you. I want you to be washed clean every second of every day because Jesus bought you a ticket. He bought you a ticket with a seat right beside mine. And I want you to be on this train. I want you to know the Truth. This Truth reaches beyond this world, beyond our skin, beyond the marrow of our bones to resonate in the deepest places of ourselves. I want you to share in this feast for the soul.

I can’t care what the world says or feels. I can’t be timid or afraid of your rage and hatred of me because of this Truth. I can’t fear your offense. Too much is at stake. Jesus spoke the Truth. He is the way, the Truth, and the life. And you cannot meet the Father, or spend forever with me in Heaven, unless I tell you this Truth. Unless I bring the Truth of Christ right to you. Because I love you.

I am ready to walk in the light of Truth. I’ll probably screw it up now and again. But I know it’s okay. Because you are worth the effort. All of you are worth the effort. Christ, the living Truth and Light of this world, was not above serving you and laying down His life for you. What kind of Saint and Disciple would I be if I only wrote about His Truth, and did not live it as well? Not a very good one I assure you.

So please. I know what the world says. I know what society says. I know what my own selfish heart has said in the past. There is a Truth. There is One True God. He is the Creator of everything. He gave you a manual on how to live your life. He gave you His only Son as the perfect Teacher who lived as one of us. Don’t believe the Truth because I say it is True. Pick up a Bible. Read the Holy Words with an open heart. The Holy Spirit will do the rest. And I’ll try much harder to offer all that I can to help you reach His Truth.